The Cold Reality

Winter in Poland can be tough. In a lot of ways it reminds me of Pakistan during Ramazan. The traffic sucks. Your days start before dawn and end after dusk. People seem to lose their cool for no reason whatsoever. You don’t even have to fast. The weather does it all for you. And, it lasts for more than a month!

I spent Christmas break at my family’s house in South Hills near LA. During that time, I never drove on a freeway or went to the store. I only ventured from my suburban community for our normal ski resort hegira. My life was a blur of old friends, new restaurants and timeless traditions.

Life seems harder after returning to Poland. Little things such as the going to the grocery store became arduous. Trudging through a mixture of snow and sand (why can’t they just use salt?) became almost unjust. I was ready to jump out of my skin after a third day of exam study in the same apartment.

The weather is part of it. The days are short; the temperature is well below freezing. This year is apparently heavy on snow. A simple errand involves freezing feet and fingers. Snow can turn bus schedules into a numerical farce.  I’ve heard that this climate affects one’s mood for the worse.

My family has often quoted an expression about life being ‘gray, sad and hard’ in Poland ten months out of the year. Indeed, on my last visit to LA life there seemed much more manageable.   In  Wroclaw, The view from my windows appears to be in grey scale. The snow and cold makes getting around a chore.

But how much of it is the weather?  January/February is exam period at the university. I can remember feeling the same annoyance in LA at having to study.  While in the U.S. during break, I didn’t have to attend class, pay rent, or stray far from home. Our usual ski resort was colder than Wroclaw at the time. The temperature wasn’t an issue. I was on vacation.

About a week ago, one of my friends was thinking about going home for the inter-semester break. A second-year colleague encouraged her. ‘Everyone will be so happy to see you’ she said. ‘They will ask you what you want to do, and take you to restaurants’.

Looking back, I remember that the reality of living in LA was different from visiting for a few weeks.  Commuting to collage for two hours each way drove me up the walls. Professional working conditions precluded any other lifestyle. The traffic sucked. No fasting or snow required.

 The regulatory environment was also stifling.  As one local student put it, at least ‘there are rules for getting around the rules’ in Poland.  Salaries are lower, but you get months of vacation. It’s a trade off.

There’s an eastern European expression: ‘Each day is worse than the day before, but better than the day after’.  In response, I can’t help but think of the Anglo phrase ‘that’s life’. And maybe that’s why we look forward to vacation so much. It’s better than life anywhere ever could be. An escape from the tests, the traffic, and the choices we’d rather not make.

In a week I leave for Rome, and the annual European family vacation. It’s only been 3 weeks since I’ve last had time off. Yet, I welcome the respite.   

No, it’s not just the weather.  No matter where you are, reality bears down; you long for a permanent way to escape. Even though one may not exist.

I stare out into the endless gray of night.  And think of the future.