Owning Uncertanty

This post has been a while in coming. I first drafted it almost two months ago while still on break in LA. At the time, it only felt like a half-baked idea. Now I think I’m ready to complete it:

Sometimes I could swear I lead two lives. One is European. The other remains in the U.S.  When I’m a part of one, the other seems as if it’s only a dream. Or, sometimes a nightmare.   

I first became interested in living abroad after a summer working as a broadcast media trainer in Maldives. That was almost 7 years ago. It all seemed so simple. You travel. You make your home in unheard of locales. You make your life your own.

But, in reality your life remains tied down to various obligations.  Culture, language and family are factors that divide. Yet, they pervade the planet.  It’s not so simple as I thought on the plane back from Male. Because of said complexity, this post will be an amalgam of many things. So, bear with me.  

I’ve already mentioned that I spent part of my February-March break at my family’s home in Los Angeles.  For part of that time the Sochi Olympic Games were televised.  Much of the coverage focused on so-called ‘extreme’ sports. Usually Americans dominate them in the Olympics.  I’ve always thought them too subjective to be included in international competition. The scoring is often about the ‘coolness’ of a performance. Contestants gain points for tricks of their own invention. 

One such trick was named the 'Yolo' Flip. Its inventor had to change citizenships from Russia to that of a country in the West in order to create it.  My father joked that he didn’t understand the necessity of leaving one’s country whenever it was brought to light that an athlete had sought another nationality in order to move forward. To him, national loyalty was a singular commitment defined by one’s birthright.  For me, that view betrays other possibilities of success. Ideological  assuredness regarding one’s current situation prevents one from aspiring further.  

Most my age learned the first part of the Yolo flip’s name as a matter of popular discourse.  It wasn’t until college that a friend defined to me it as ‘the teenage Carpe Diem’.  Except, Carpe Diem wasn’t originally meant to signify it’s usually accepted modern meaning.  During graduate school, I was informed that the Latin term was not coined as an excuse for unmitigated risk taking. Instead it’s an exhortation to do what we can today.  Tomorrow cannot be dictated; your day may never come. Yet, you must plan for it.

Thus, the concepts of ‘Yolo’ and Carpe Diem are opposed. The first implies a false positive causality between present rash action and future success. The second focuses on the now. But, it denies a possible promise of what may come through rational action.  Between these two options, it is easy to adopt a siege mentality.  To protect and preserve in personal mythology what one perceives as past achievements amid dubious promises of the future.

 Transmuting the above philosophical conflict to a national level, it seems almost fitting that Ukraine and Russia came into conflict over Crimea and Ukraine’s Eastern regions after the Olympics. Ukraine moves toward its own future. Regardless of prohibitive losses to practical consequences, it lives in the moment.  Russia protects regional interests. Reasserting influence it conceives as its own, it works methodically toward a future that may not be as bright as past glories.

I traveled to the disputed areas in the above mentioned region a bit over a year ago. Many there are of a dual heritage.  Each lives one life.  Paradoxically, it seems that they must now choose between two opposing, yet related sides. Neither philosophical attitude towards the future provides a mutual solution.

There’s a third version of understanding the Yolo/ Carpe Diem concept. I heard it from from a Star Trek Voyager episode: ‘Own the Day’.  A battle cry, it carries baggage from past consequences but no expectations for what is to come. It allows for the possibility of re-defining conceptualizations. For making two identities one, wherever they may end up. Semantically, it does so by striking a balance between throwing caution to the wind and internalizing future pitfalls despite best efforts. ‘Own the Day’ acknowledges that one only does what one can, given certain goals and circumstances.      

One cannot control the future, nor deny its existence. One can only own the day. 

On Transition

President Gorbachev is remembered negatively by many in Russia. Some are nostalgic for the Soviet era. They view him as the destroyer of the USSR.

The western world lauded Russia’s conversion to capitalism. From their perspective, it was the correct thing to do.

Russia suffered since the fall of communism. The resulting decline in living standards and life expectancy is so great that it’s sometimes referred to it as the ‘Russian Genocide’. The military was once the gallant protector of the USSR. It’s fallen from grace. Underfunded, it’s unable to pay its utility bills.  Some Russians view the Red Army’s withdraw from central-eastern Europe as forced capitulation to the West.   

 The nations that army vacated have prospered.

 Before martial law’s declaration in Poland, there were rumors of Soviet tanks massing for attack. After finally throwing off communism the country forged ahead. The same is true of other satellite nations, such as Czech Republic and Slovakia. The Baltic States have found their footing. Russia continues to flounder.

Last week I became a Slovenian citizen.  I took an oath, swearing to up hold my new home land’s democratic values. After the ceremony my lawyer, translator, and I discussed the region’s history.

Slovenia used to be part of Yugoslavia. It was a member of the nonaligned Marxist faction.  Slovenia was Yugoslavia’s economic powerhouse. The most of what they produced went to Serbia.

We also discussed Russian politics.  My lawyer and translator acknowledged Russians’ antipathy toward Gorbachev. They seemed dumbfounded by it. Gorbachev maintains that he did not set out to destroy the USSR. They are grateful he did.  

 I’ve traveled to Slovenia three times. It‘s one of the most developed transition nations. On this visit I felt as if I was in the West. The locals spoke a Slavic language.

 Putin professes a desire to redress Russia’s degradation since the fall of communism. Giving a people hope isn’t negative.  Leading them to stagnation is.

Russia must modernize in order to survive.  It must accept the West, while retaining the essence of its own heritage.

Many Russians regard Gorbachev as an enemy.  His policies shaped the future. The obliteration of one empire spawns the beginning of another.  

Let the Russian people embrace the world. Let them build their own destiny with the territories they inhabit.  Let them prosper -- looking towards the future while uniting behind the past.

Let them find truth in their story. As I attempt to find truth in my own.  

An Instructive Journey

 One of my classes this semester is about Russian politics. This includes the brake-up of the USSR.  The professor is Moldovan. Last week she questioned the wisdom of Gorbachev’s policies, which led to the sudden brake up of the Soviet Union.  She opined that his attempt to reform the political and economic systems of the country toward democratic capitalism, while retaining the basics of communism, was untenable. It caused economic and social hardship.  

After the collapse of the country, the right to vote was a small condolence to its people. With the exception of the Baltic States, they’d never fought for democratic freedom. They had no idea of its significance. “The Baltic States are the only ones that more or less function properly” my professor added.

Last weekend I returned to the former USSR.  I went to Lwow in western Ukraine to speak at a Rotary seminar. Before World War II it used to be a Polish city. But, the cultural differences were like a slap in the face.

 I tried to buy an opera ticket for a performance the following day. I asked if I could have a ticket to ‘Il Travatore’ and was simply told “no”. I inquired as to whether this was because it was sold out.  “Today there are no tickets”.  I finally specified the next day and got a ticket.

At the Rotary Seminar, I met a man of Ukrainian decent.  Raised in the U.S., he returned to his homeland. He reminded me that Poland was never in the Soviet Union.  Here people lived under the auspices of the KGB. You learned not to volunteer any information that wasn’t absolutely necessary.     

He also commented on the level of service in Ukrainian hotels, pointing to employees ironing tablecloths in the middle of the hotel’s restaurant. “And they have the nerve to call this a four star hotel?” he asked jokingly.

I came to the conference with hope that I would get invited to present in Poland. I got about five invitations. They were all from Ukrainians. The Poles seemed uninterested.  Ukraine and the rest of the former USSR must travel a difficult path to transition. Ukraine’s GDP has fallen by over 50% since the dissolution of the Soviet Union. Russian life expectancy is plummeting.  Yet, the enthusiasm is clearly there.

I left the seminar and headed for the opera house.  Along the way I saw older women in babuszki selling produce along the side of the road. Some claim that this part of the world has no entrepreneurial spirit. They are wrong.

The opera had some technical difficulties.  The chorus didn’t sing in unison, the orchestra overpowered the singers and some leads couldn’t control their vibrato. Despite its Hapsburg era opera house, Lwow is a relatively provincial Ukrainian city. Anyone with more talent could be hired away to Kiev or the E.U.

Russian public opinion polls show that many think the best times during the 20^th century were during the Brezhnev era. Employment and housing were guaranteed, and the price of goods was less than the cost of production. The problem was that it wasn’t sustainable.

Maybe the opera in Lwow might have been better during communist times. But that ticket would have been bought at the expense of the future.  

Gorbachev may have gone too far too fast, but the transition had to happen.  The USSR eventually had to face reality.

I look at the debt amassed by the U.S. and some European countries. The prevailing ‘tax and spend’ mentality. They must learn from history. They must make tough decisions.